Form 27-B, Stroke 6: A Tax Season in Hell

Game system: dnd5e

File the afterlife's paperwork before the audit damns you twice.

PREMISE You are dead. Bureaucratically speaking, this is a problem. The Afterlife Intake Processing Center (AIPC) is a gleaming fluorescent-lit office complex that extends in all directions forever. It is currently processing your soul but has run into a paperwork issue. You cannot proceed to your final destination until Form 27-B, Stroke 6 (Death Classification and Disposition Request) is filed, notarized, cross-referenced, and approved by the Department of Final Affairs. Unfortunately, the Great Audit is in progress, and a Reviewing Auditor named Kramble has flagged your file for secondary review. This could result in Redamning: a retroactive reclassification that sends you somewhere considerably worse. You have until the end of the Audit Cycle (one working day, in-world) to fix this. BACKGROUND (GM ONLY) The Redamning threat is not legal under Afterlife Code Section 7, Subsection Q. Auditor Kramble is running a scam. He flags newly arrived souls for secondary review, then charges them Bureaucratic Favors (rubber-stamped chits, the local currency) to make the flag disappear. The actual Department of Final Affairs director, a celestial HR automaton named CASS-9, would be horrified if she knew, but she is stuck in an infinite reboot loop because someone filed a Form 19-R incorrectly. That someone was Kramble. If the players can reboot CASS-9 and present evidence of the scam, they get their paperwork cleared and achieve a small victory for justice in the Afterlife. HOOKS 1. The players wake up in adjacent cubicles with no memory of the last few seconds of their lives. A form waits on each desk: DECEASED - PENDING DISPOSITION. A disembodied voice announces: "Please proceed to Window 7 for intake processing. Window 7 is currently closed. Please form a queue." 2. A harried soul named Phil, who has been in intake for eleven years, spots the players as newcomers and immediately recruits them. He has almost everything he needs except someone willing to go to the Sub-Basement Archives. 3. The players' shared caseworker, a skeleton in a headset named Derrek, frantically pulls them aside before Window 7 opens: "Do NOT go to Window 7. Kramble is on shift. I will lose my job if you tell anyone I said this." SCENE 1 - THE INTAKE FLOOR Read aloud: "The ceiling is made of fluorescent lights going up forever. The carpet is the specific shade of gray that indicates no one has ever cared about it. There are motivational posters on every wall: DEATH IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR INCOMPLETE PAPERWORK. You are holding a number. The display above the window reads NOW SERVING: 7,441,002. Your number is 7,441,053." Players explore the Intake Floor, gather information, borrow forms from other waiting souls, and locate Phil. They need Form 27-B Stroke 6, which is only available from the Archives in Sub-Basement 3. Skill checks: - Persuasion DC 12 to get a waiting soul to loan their forms (borrowing, not stealing, which matters legally here). - Sleight of Hand DC 13 to obtain a Caseworker Access Badge from an unattended desk. Required for the elevator. SCENE 2 - SUB-BASEMENT ARCHIVES Read aloud: "The elevator does not have a Sub-Basement 3 button. It has a button that says DO NOT PRESS. The button is worn down as if it has been pressed ten thousand times. The elevator descends for what feels like six minutes. When the doors open, shelf-stacks of manila folders extend in every direction. A creature made entirely of filing cabinets slowly rotates to look at you." The Archive Construct is the guardian of Sub-Basement 3. It is not hostile. It is bureaucratic. It will only provide Form 27-B Stroke 6 if the players first fill out a Form 14-A (Request for Form Access). The Form 14-A requires a supervisor signature. The supervisor is Kramble. The players must find another way: forge the signature (Forgery kit DC 14), find a loophole in the exemption clause (Investigation DC 14), or distract the Construct with impressive administrative patter (Performance DC 13). SCENE 3 - REBOOTING CASS-9 The players find CASS-9 (Celestial Administrative Support System, version 9) in Server Room B, locked in an endless error loop caused by Kramble's bad Form 19-R. Rebooting her requires locating the reset code (hidden in Kramble's desk drawer, Stealth DC 13 to access it), entering it into her terminal (Arcana DC 12), and surviving three minutes while Kramble's automated compliance drones (floating memo-boards with teeth) are alerted by the reboot signal. KEY NPCS AUDITOR KRAMBLE: A minor celestial functionary who discovered fraud was easier than virtue. Motivation: collect favors, avoid accountability, and enjoy a soft job with no oversight. Quirk: refers to everything, including his own emotions, as "pending review." "My reaction to your accusation is currently pending review." PHIL: An accountant in afterlife intake for eleven years because he keeps filling out the wrong form. Motivation: get out by any means. He will help in any way possible and ask zero questions. Quirk: knows the location of every form in the building from memory, including forms that technically should not exist. CASS-9: The celestial HR automaton. Motivation: process souls correctly and with dignity. Quirk: once rebooted, she is aggressively and helpfully literal. Every answer is technically correct but requires three follow-up questions to become actually useful. THE TWIST When CASS-9 reboots, she immediately processes everything in the queue, including Kramble's own flagged file from seventeen years ago, which he never submitted correctly. Kramble is now the soul with the paperwork problem. His auditor certification is also under review. His review is being conducted by CASS-9. He is trapped in a recursive paperwork loop of his own design. CLIMAX Kramble arrives at Server Room B before the reboot completes and attempts to stop the players. AUDITOR KRAMBLE: CR 2, HP 36, AC 13 (a three-piece suit with a minor bureaucratic enchantment). Attacks: Stamp of Rejection (1d8+2 psychic; target must succeed on a DC 12 Wisdom save or be incapacitated by existential dread for 1 round); Red-Tape Bind (DC 13 Strength save or restrained by 5 feet of magical red tape). COMPLIANCE DRONE x2: CR 1/2, HP 14, AC 12 (floating). Attacks: Paper Cut Swarm (1d4+1 slashing, ignores cover from furniture). Players who present the evidence of the scam to CASS-9 during the reboot gain advantage on all checks for the fight duration. She plays soothing hold music that functions as a subtle debuff anthem aimed exclusively at Kramble. RESOLUTION AND REWARDS CASS-9 comes fully online, processes all the players' forms, clears the Redamning flag, and issues a formal apology letter beginning: "Dear Valued Soul: We regret the administrative error and any inconvenience caused by your temporary damning." Phil gets his disposition filed. He hugs everyone and vanishes in a beam of light while waving. Kramble is reassigned to the Eternal Form Printing Room, where the printer is always out of paper. Rewards: - 225 XP each. - Form 27-B Stroke 6 (Completed): Acts as a Passport to the Afterlife. Once, it can be shown to any legal or official authority to avoid detention or bureaucratic delay with no questions asked. Usable in the mortal world as well. Nobody has ever checked whether that is supposed to work. - Rubber Stamp of Expedience: Bonus action to stamp any document or creature. Creatures that are stamped are Marked: you have advantage on attack rolls against them for 1 minute. Recharges on a short rest. RUNNING IT TIP 1: The comedy here is deadpan. Play the bureaucracy completely straight. The humor comes from everyone treating paperwork as a life-or-death matter because, for these souls, it genuinely is. TIP 2: The pending review motif works best if Kramble deflects every direct question with it. Practice this voice before running. He does not deny things; he files a response noting that the allegation is under review. TIP 3: Scaling. For level 2 parties, remove both Compliance Drones. For level 4 and above, Kramble has a deputy named Glennis who is somehow worse: same stats, plus she casts Suggestion once per encounter to tell targets to "please hold.

Tags: ["comedy", "office", "bureaucracy"]

A community tabletop RPG campaign shared on TableTop DLC.